If It Wasn't For You...

One of our young believers is a man named Paul.

Back in 2002 or so, he had just come to jail and was going to be stuck there over Christmas. After making a phone call home, he was so frustrated and discouraged, that he ran up to the plate glass window in the pod where he was incarcerated and proceeded to put his head through it! Glass chips flew, guards were stunned by the impossible thing they had just seen, and Paul was hurting. Currently, Paul is serving a two year sentence in prison. He writes to Larry and Susan almost weekly and he agreed that we could print some of his written testimony for you. You might know him from the poem he wrote that we included in our last Jail Times. This came from a letter he wrote to us in August.

Dearest Larry and Sue,
I've received your letter! Thank you for the time to touch me once again, as always you've done. I praise God for the honor to know you. My poems, are all by the gifts of the heart, that He is living in. I cry while putting each word into perspective. What a joy to finally hear and see exactly what he gives me day by day. All that comes from me, comes from Him. Without Him I am nothing. With Him I have His grace & love.

This to me is like I've had a diamond in my pocket while being
emotionally and physically broke. One day I was cleaning and I found it! Now I'm a very wealthy man! … Yes, salvation is mine! Through faith and studying His word, I have something to offer. Through my devotion and willingness, He will give me a purpose. That purpose is to help bring more to the word and God's many
blessings.

I can't believe these words come from the same man that once had problems gathering simple thoughts! Let alone the words to express them. … God's turned a fool into something with hope! I cried out for Him my first time, after the window incident. It was Christmas Eve. There was no snow and I talked earlier to
my daughter on the phone who said it wasn't like Christmas because of my being jailed and no snow. (Then I hit the window with my head.) When the officers escorted me to the segregation unit and calmed me, I hit my knees and begged God for a sign of His existence. Being a non-believer, I guess we ask for signs. I
was expecting a personal appearance of course. I had told God that if I had a sign, I would follow Him.

My crying finally ceased! I rose from my knees and by nature, I said to myself, “That figures, I'm still alone.” I decided to look out the window and see my new view of Medina acres and lo and behold, I couldn't even see 10 feet, because it was snowing so hard. I now know that God doesn't make personal appearances, but He not only answered me, He gave my daughter a White Christmas. I was like, “Awesome!” I filled out a request for a Bible.

Two days later, Larry appeared with a Bible. I still have it (these years later.) Although not understanding, He was blessing me. Larry is on the quiet, soft-spoken side. Praise God for you, Larry! Your quietness and softness left me wondering, “How come he's smiling at me? Don't he know that I shattered layers of bulletproof glass with my noggin?” I don't think Larry cared about my display
of desperation, but I could see very clearly that he cared about ME.

When I got out of the hole (disciplinary lockdown), I started attending every Bible study, church service, and Christian video night. I left thousands of tears in that large (jail) classroom and on the pages of my Bible. I met you, Sue, your son, Daniel, Brian Carpenter and Bob Grover, along with many other guests who have come to sing and minister to us.

Although I've struggled and failed for three years, I never gave up. God wouldn't let me. Every time I failed, He put me back in Medina County Jail…where I met and left Him every time I left. NOT THIS TIME! I'm taking Him with me everywhere I go. My head is hard, but my heart is soft. He is teaching me now.

But before I got to His classroom, I was in yours. I love you all so very much for staying by my side for so long! I cannot forget the looks on Larry's face each time I came back (to jail). Displeased, but forgiving. I've never had that love, but from my mother. Larry…If I could one person to be like, I would be like you. Why am I crying now? Before I had God, I had you.

What a merciful God we have!

Forever in debt to Him, I will be. Forever in my life, my thoughts of
you will remain. I will give all to model what you've modeled for me. Larry, you and Sue, are my #1 team. When I thought I had no one, God gave me you both. When I see you, I see God.

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You know, if it wasn't for you all…our supporters and prayer warriors…we wouldn't get letters like that. You know why? Because we could never be there often enough to get close enough into the lives of the men and women for us to feel their pain and for them to feel our love! So this letter belongs not just to us, but to all of you who make our ministry possible through your very generous gifts. We live by faith month-to-month and God has been so very good to us, by giving us…YOU!